The Tiger in the Cage
Once upon a time I was caught within a trap. I tried my very hardest to get out, but I just couldn’t do it. I scratched and bit the cage with all my might until I bled. There was no escaping this cage.
Luckily, after a few days of being trapped in the middle of nowhere in a cage I saw a poor Brahman.
I cried out to him, “Let me out of this cage, oh pious one! Please!”
The Brahman replied, “No, my friend. You would just kill and eat me after I helped you escape."
I was thinking to myself; I was really hungry, and he does look tasty. Although, if he opens up the cage, he would be saving my life, so should I save his? I could not come to a decision at the time so I sighed and sobbed to the Brahman, begging him to open the cage up for me. By this time the Brahman felt sorry for me and opened up the cage to let me out! As soon as that cage came flying open, I pounced onto the man, getting ready to eat him.
“Whaaaa!” I said. “How can you be such a fool?! What is going to stop me from eating you now? I have been in the cage for so long that I am terribly hungry."
The Brahman was so pitiful. He pleaded for his life. He then asked me if he could go find three things to tell the situation to, and find out what they think of the matter. Then he would listen to their insight.
“Okay, okay, why not? You will be my dinner soon enough,” I said. “See what they tell you. It’s not like it will matter. I will eat you for dinner regardless of the decision by others.”
The Brahman, upset, went to find someone or something to talk to first, and I tagged along about fifty yards behind. The Brahman found a papal-tree and asked him what he thought of the situation.
“What are you complaining about?” the tree said. “I give shelter to anyone that passes by and what do they do?! Chop at my branches to feed their cattle. Be a man!”
The Brahman then went and found a buffalo, but he had no further luck talking with him. The bull said, “You’re a fool to expect gratitude. Look at me, I give up my milk and they just slaughter my young.”
I watched as the Brahman walked around with despair. I kind of felt bad for him, but I was just so hungry. I tried to speed up the process. “Hurry up! I’m waiting to attend dinner with you.”
The Brahman then stumbled upon a jackal that asked him what the matter was. He explained and told the jackal how I tricked him into letting me escape so I could eat him. I thought this jackal was an idiot. He seemed to be confused as the Brahman explained the situation. I became tense and angry.
“Come! Let's go back to the spot this all happened so I can explain to you, jackal,” I exclaimed. “Here we are.” I and the Brahman explained the story to the jackal at least ten times, but he could not understand the part about the cage. In a blind rage, I decided to give him a play by play of what happened. I raced back to the cage and got inside to try and show the jackal what happened. As soon as I did this he closed the door and locked me inside the cage.
I was tricked by the jackal, for I thought that he was an idiot, but it turned out that I was the idiot. Now I sit here on my death bed, in a cage telling my story to anyone who will listen.
Once upon a time I was caught within a trap. I tried my very hardest to get out, but I just couldn’t do it. I scratched and bit the cage with all my might until I bled. There was no escaping this cage.
Luckily, after a few days of being trapped in the middle of nowhere in a cage I saw a poor Brahman.
I cried out to him, “Let me out of this cage, oh pious one! Please!”
The Brahman replied, “No, my friend. You would just kill and eat me after I helped you escape."
I was thinking to myself; I was really hungry, and he does look tasty. Although, if he opens up the cage, he would be saving my life, so should I save his? I could not come to a decision at the time so I sighed and sobbed to the Brahman, begging him to open the cage up for me. By this time the Brahman felt sorry for me and opened up the cage to let me out! As soon as that cage came flying open, I pounced onto the man, getting ready to eat him.
“Whaaaa!” I said. “How can you be such a fool?! What is going to stop me from eating you now? I have been in the cage for so long that I am terribly hungry."
The Brahman was so pitiful. He pleaded for his life. He then asked me if he could go find three things to tell the situation to, and find out what they think of the matter. Then he would listen to their insight.
“Okay, okay, why not? You will be my dinner soon enough,” I said. “See what they tell you. It’s not like it will matter. I will eat you for dinner regardless of the decision by others.”
The Brahman, upset, went to find someone or something to talk to first, and I tagged along about fifty yards behind. The Brahman found a papal-tree and asked him what he thought of the situation.
“What are you complaining about?” the tree said. “I give shelter to anyone that passes by and what do they do?! Chop at my branches to feed their cattle. Be a man!”
The Brahman then went and found a buffalo, but he had no further luck talking with him. The bull said, “You’re a fool to expect gratitude. Look at me, I give up my milk and they just slaughter my young.”
I watched as the Brahman walked around with despair. I kind of felt bad for him, but I was just so hungry. I tried to speed up the process. “Hurry up! I’m waiting to attend dinner with you.”
The Brahman then stumbled upon a jackal that asked him what the matter was. He explained and told the jackal how I tricked him into letting me escape so I could eat him. I thought this jackal was an idiot. He seemed to be confused as the Brahman explained the situation. I became tense and angry.
“Come! Let's go back to the spot this all happened so I can explain to you, jackal,” I exclaimed. “Here we are.” I and the Brahman explained the story to the jackal at least ten times, but he could not understand the part about the cage. In a blind rage, I decided to give him a play by play of what happened. I raced back to the cage and got inside to try and show the jackal what happened. As soon as I did this he closed the door and locked me inside the cage.
I was tricked by the jackal, for I thought that he was an idiot, but it turned out that I was the idiot. Now I sit here on my death bed, in a cage telling my story to anyone who will listen.
A Tiger in a Cage (Photo by: Matt Reinbold)
Author's Note
I based my story off of The Tiger, The Brahman, and the Jackal by Joseph Jacobs in the Mythology and Folklore Un-Textbook. I really enjoyed this story and wanted to retell it. The reason why I really enjoyed this story was because there were so many levels of trickery in it. I basically retold the story in the same way as the original. I left out the road as the third thing the Brahman came in contact with because I felt that the first two were fine enough. The only major difference I made was instead of telling the story with a narrator, I retold the story from the perspective of the Tiger. I think that telling it from his perspective put the reader in the eyes of the Tiger and the situation. Throughout the original story we learn the situation mostly from the Brahman's perspective. In my story the Tiger is the main character. Listening to his thought process you might feel bad for him or think that he is just getting his karma. If the Tiger would have let the Brahman live and walk away from him, then none of this would ever happen. He also has a temper. In a rage from the Jackal acting dumb he went inside to demonstrate what happen, and got trapped back into the cage!
I also used this story for my adaptation this week. I thought this story was so great, and I loved the message behind it, as well as the characters. Good job at retelling the story from the viewpoint of the tiger. I thought this was a great idea, especially because it showcased how he was feeling, including at the end when he was locked back in the cage. This story was very well-written and used good dialogue to develop the characters more. So overall, great job!
ReplyDeleteThis was absolutely hilarious! I had a good laugh at the end, though I still feel kind of bad for the tiger who ended up back in the cage. I really enjoyed the perspective of the tiger. I could feel how the tiger had a bit of an "oh, shit" moment after getting locked back in, something I could relate to on a daily basis. All in all I really enjoyed it! Good job!
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun story, Anthony! It looks like a lot of people chose to originate their story off of the Tiger, the Brahman, and the Jackal. However, your version has been very unique. You articulated the story very well with the use of first-person narration. I found it so funny that the tiger was telling his story to the rock. I also loved the flow of the story. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Anthony! This was a very clever and well-written story! I've always loved stories about trickster animals like jackals, wolves, and foxes, and you did a really great job portraying the 'trickster' roles in this story. I liked the deeper aspects about the story - like cutting down trees that give shade, or taking animals for granted. It makes me curious about how the Brahman's encounter with the road was like, as you mentioned in the author's note. One part that I was slightly confused about was the buffalo that gave milk. It's not a big deal, but I figured since male buffalo can't produce milk, it would make more sense if the buffalo was a female. Again, it's not that significant in the grand scheme of the story, but just a minor detail that caught my attention. Overall, this story was really well-done, and I look forward to reading more of your portfolio!
ReplyDeleteHi Anthony!
ReplyDeleteI haven't read any stories from the Un-Textbook, so I really enjoyed getting to hear one from you. It was really good. I like that you told it from the perspective of the tiger. That gives the trickery more of a bitter sting! That was also an excellent way for you to develop the moral of the story.
The story flows very well. I also think it shows a skillful use of dialogue. The characters are distinct, and they make great sense in their respective contexts.
The picture you used with the story is perfect! Due to the way you position it at the end of the story, the tiger actually looks really sad!
I have read your other stories, and I think your portfolio looks really good! You have a great and diverse collection of stories. They are very enjoyable to read. You're doing an excellent job, Anthony! Keep it up!
Hi Anthony!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your version of this story! I read the original a while back and then I remember reading another person's version of this story. I always enjoy when people change who the narrator is, because then you can learn so much about other characters and their motives and feelings! I think you did a great job writing this story, and I think it is a good choice for your portfolio!
Upon first glance, everything looks great for this story layout wise. The layout makes the font easy to read, and he paragraph spacing is good as well. Also your picture fits in well, and the link works perfectly.
ReplyDeleteThe word “things” is such a broad word that I felt like it didn’t quite belong in the sentence that it was in—when the Brahman wanted to talk to different objects about his situation.
I really like that you told the story from the perspective of the tiger, I thought it was funny how arrogant he was. He thought the jackal was such an idiot, but he was really the stupid one for getting into the cage.
I did catch at one point where you used the speaking verb “said” when a question was used, and it would make much more sense to have a verb that goes along with asking a question.
Other than that, good job! I really liked the story.
I liked your story but I have a few suggestions. It would be nice to have a little bit more of an introduction at the beginning, like "my name is so and so and I am a tiger" and then have it begin with one day he was trapped in a cage. As it is we don't know that he's a tiger except by the title of the story, so we have no reason to see that he would eat the nice Brahman if he got out of the cage. Other than this your story was quite good. I did not see any grammatical errors or anything wrong with how it was all arranged, though I did find it strange that everything was centered (strange in that I'd never seen anyone do it before, but it was not necessarily a bad thing, it all looked good and flowed well). Overall great job!
ReplyDeleteAnthony,
ReplyDeleteI was able to read the original story that you based your rendition off of. I liked how you stuck to the plot but took the tiger’s perspective. I think my favorite part is where the tiger is having an inner debate on if he should eat the Brahman (if the Brahman frees him from his jail). It makes the tiger seem more morally inclined while still showing his animalistic character. I enjoyed the dialogue. I think that technique always helps the writer connect to the audience. I definitely think Karma was in action in this story.
I could not find much to suggest for you. It might have been cool if you had started your story with the tiger telling another wonderer his story since you ended with the tiger stating he tells his story to all that will come by and listen. That is just a thought though, not really a suggestion.
Hope these last two weeks go well for you! Good job.
This is a very interesting tale, and it certainly made me want to take a look at the original story. You definitely didn't deviate much from the original, but writing the story from the view of the Tiger was a great touch! I think maybe it would have been useful to include more thoughts before the Brahman arrived. The tiger was basically caught, tried to escape and then the Brahman popped up. Overall, the content is awesome. I really enjoyed the way the tiger thought. He seemed aggressive, arrogant and powerful by how he thought and talked. In the end that arrogance was his downfall! Your story flows very well, and you did a great job breaking up the dialog. I didn't notice many errors, I think I saw a couple unnecessary commas, but I'm never sure if I'm correct about commas! You really did a good job capturing the story from the tiger's perspective and did wonderfully with developing the character of a tiger. Great job!
ReplyDelete